He's Just Using Her!!!!

We ladies are so guilty of making this statement. I’ve hardly heard a man say about his cheating girlfriend or wife “She loves me, but is just using him””Are you kidding me; you’ll find yourself in the streets the next day.
Two weeks ago, I was with a friend who had suffered serious emotional trauma in her relationship. She loves her stupid boyfriend so much that, she has come to accept the fact that he cheats on her, beats her up.etc. Not your definition of love right? Well, to her, he’s the perfect man. In her words” Jide might cheat with different ladies, but I know I’m the one he loves.”He’s just using them for sex”. At that moment, I felt like splashing cold water on her face, probably slapping her back to reality.
“Come of it girl, what makes you feel you are not the one being used”? I retorted with irritation. She smiled. The kind of smile which says” you don’t know anything about being in love and relationships, your just an egocentric girl who would die waiting for a man who would be faithful to you (yea my resolution)”.
After that sarcastic smile, she said.....
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” Emeh, I have watched him go through several phases of infatuation with various girls and he has always come back to me, I’m the one who has the key to his house, the one who knows his family, the one his friends recognize, the one he buys gifts for(really?).She forgot to add, the one who washes his clothes, cooks for him and cries every night.
When she was done listing her myopic reasons. I smiled. The smile which says” I’m sorry for you. All I can do is put you in my prayers because you are obviously lost to this stupid thing called love.
That got me thinking, who is really being used the person your partner cheats with, or you who is cheated on? I won’t gratify anybody’s ego but I honestly feel the person cheated on is being used here. You do all you can to satisfy this person’s emotional and sexual needs and still he/she doesn’t find you gratifying enough. To pay back, he gets one or two ladies on the side and in worse case scenarios, a flock of ladies to hang out with and you say they are being used? They don’t have to deal with him snoring at night, or be understanding when he has no dime. They probably see the good sides and you are left to clean up the dirt and probably live with sexually transmitted diseases and you say he’s using them or her?

Well, I definitely won’t be that lady who sits home, while her man frolics about. And once he cheats, I take a walk. I can be fooled once but not twice. If he respects and loves you as you claim, he won’t stand another woman in his bed, or go to the movies with another while your home whining away. He would treat you like the diamond you are.
But as they say, “Different strokes for different folks”Unfortunately, I’ve come to the painful realization that, love can’t be defined. It means different things to different people.

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