Some time back, I was one of those ladies who believed a man must cater to my every need before the relationship works. What I didn't realize was, those men who cater to your every need are already so successful that, you won’t be in their league.
So, while you sit on your lazy ass waiting for a man to take you shopping, give you money for your hair, nails, buy you a phone and yes pay for your BIS, another smart lady is working hard, earning some money and looking good on her own, and when she steps out, she exudes that confidence and poise which men who spend , find irresistible.
When they now shower her with expensive gifts,you say "she must be using jazz or juju"..no,its coz she proved herself worthy of such gifts..they know she's fine,with or without them"
I know this particular lady, every time she updates her BBM Status, its either ”BIS Expires soon(crying),I’m so cold”,” All these bitches got nothing on me” “I need money” heartbroken”, ”men are stingy”..then the funny one “Independent lady”..lol
Many ladies don’t know the true meaning of an independent lady. Trust me, the fact you drive a car, live in a highbrow area with 500k in your account doesn’t make you an independent lady. Its also not by wearing a suit.That lady who makes a meager 50,000naira a month might be considered more independent than you are.A lady in jeans and Tshirt might be an independent lady..
It all boils down to “who works hard (legitimately) to make her own money and is content with what she has and who acts like she doesn't need a man to be ok.
If you spend 90% of your time complaining to a man about being broke..I bet my Brazilian hair on the fact that, he would relegate you to the status of a side-chick. Infact, a bed mate.
Let me share a true life story with you all.
Some years back, I met this cool guy and the first day, I actually had money issues then. I wasn’t even Miss Petite then..lol ..So, I was a little rude to him. When he sought to know why, I retorted angrily” I’m broke”. To my surprise, he said “Is that why you are frowning? Please cheer up. You can’t be broke around me.”
This elicited a smile from me and I took up on his offer to discuss my broke state over a drink. So, we went for a drink and he asked me what I needed. I said I needed a gen coz mine had packed up . I also said I needed groceries..He said,” Fine fine, can we do that tomorrow? Come around and we’ll go and get the stuff together”.
I was so elated. When I was leaving, he said “ I guess you’ll get a bus here..”Bus” ? My head rang. This guy can’t pay for a cab?(how will he when I had portrayed myself as a cheap broke girl”)
Anyway, he gave me 500naira for my bus fare (lol). The next day, he called me to meet up with him somewhere, and I did.He told me he had gotten my gen but needed to pickup something at home.Opening the boot of his car,I saw the gen in there.
So I was so excited and didn’t notice his references to me as sweet baby had increased suddenly. I didn’t notice the “I know you are a very sweet girl”. We got home and he told me to wait in the car while he goes to get what he forgot. I was like” Wow, this guy really likes me.
Then he came, started the ignition and made to drive out when he suddenly said” You know I didn’t try out the gen, since we are here, let’s go and try it out”. I agreed it was a bright idea.
So,we took the Gen to his apartment and he placed it on the floor and proceeded to sit on his sofa while calling me sweet baby. Then to my utter surprise, he said “My sweet sparkling angelic baby, come lets rest small then we can try the gen”.
I said” No, let’s just try it and go. We can rest nexttime”..He stood up to where I was standing and said “You know, I make you happy, you make me happy, my baby, my wife”..lol
As soon as he mentioned wife, my head snapped. See scope oh! Wife just like that? I then felt very foolish, cheap and vulnerable. I turned around and told him” If I have sex with you for a small tiger gen, what will I do for a car”?
I turned around and walked away in tears, while promising myself, never again would I be at the mercy of an man, never would I eye something I cannot afford.
Do I need to tell you the guy didn't beg me to at least take the generator?
Fast-forward to now, with that mentality I won’t step out without “VEX MONEY”lol that cash you have on you so if your date messes up, you can get angry and pay for your own stuff..be it a cab, dinner, groceries etc.
There is nothing more empowering than that..
And with that mentality, I realized I've become more alluring, confident and attractive. My attitude might come off as proud to the wrong people, but comes off as confidence to the right person
And of course, I now have the right people around me..I don’t have to beg for BIS, Or complain I need a new phone(wink) or a new dress…opps did I say the right people? I meant, the right person (smiles)
Guys, this doesn't mean you can’t lend a helping hand, impress a lady with gifts and cash. Some guys are just chronic misers..lol..please this write up is not for you…
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