The Art of Sexiness

Last month, a couple of friends and I were debating on how to best describe our individual outlooks.When it came to who could be considered sexy, I wasn’t picked. Why? According to them, I was pretty and homely. The girl a man see’s and thinks of a house and kids not a “bed”. As much as that was a compliment, I thought to myself” I want to be sexy” not just pretty. Men are attracted to sexy. They said” Emeh, you can never be sexy. You smile a lot; you have that shy appearance, look like a daddy’s girl and you don’t have that attitude.

That lead me on my quest to understand the rationale behind the word” sexy.

I’ve tried to get a single definition of a sexy woman but it hasn’t been possible. I went to the extent of carrying out a survey” Rihanna or Beyonce who’s sexier? Shockingly, 98% of men said Rihanna is sexier than Beyonce. According to them, Beyonce tries too hard to prove herself. She is everywhere, all up in your face....

 Initially, I was shocked, Beyonce’s bum could cause a minor earthquake, she dances like a robot, she whines her body like a snake...I kept giving reasons why Beyonce is sexier, but the general reason was, Rihanna has found a comfortable zone. She’s dark, intense and crazy. She doesn’t try to prove that she’s the sexiest woman in the world.

Unlike a woman who is generally considered beautiful, pretty or gorgeous, a sexy woman more often than not isn’t even beautiful. She isn’t out there in your face. She could be sexy because of the way she giggles or how intense her eyes are, or because she’s confident in her skin. It can’t not be fined tuned to a particular attitude or behavior. Some women think sexiness is all about pouting the lips, wearing skimpy outfits, splashing on layers or makeup, or worse still openly flirting with men. Sexiness is skin deep.

I was with this very intelligent man (lol)) when the issue cropped up. He made a very important point” Being sexy is not about being beautiful or an attitude or makeup. As a matter of fact, most men would consider a natural lady as sexy. To him, you don’t have to try too hard; it’s either there or not”. Well, he ended the conversation with” But, I think you’re very sexy” (don’t hate) and he meant it! 


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